Nope, I'm not talking about the overly rated film starring Jodie Foster...

He told me that he's reapplying for it again. A job that will take him away on erratic schedules.

I thought to myself...why? Do I always have to love someone that is in a vocation that requires them to be physically unavailable? Am I being too selfish to speak about my fears of such a relationship? I can't go through all that again, I don't want to. But yet, I can't give up just like this.

Sounds too prematured to think about all these when the application hasn't gone through yet, and of course there will be the tedious rounds of interview before the decision needs to be made. I am just paranoid.

In my mind, I had so many options running through..plan A: Grit my teeth and bear with it. plan B: fight all the way, plan C: flight.

Don't we need to learn how to let him go when you love him? Cos when he returns to you, it means that he really loves you? Don't we need to let him do the things he likes if we love him because seeing him being happy is the best way of loving him.

I struggle, between selfless love and selfish love. Is there such a term really? Maybe love is selfless by nature. If that is the case, the option is clear.

It is another test again...